Simply Redeemed

It's been a little over 5 months since my surgery. I thought the surgery itself was going to be me getting out of the woods. But now, I feel I am still deep in the dark woods. My surgery changed my body. Chronic pain and disease have crushed my spirit and have made my thoughts a moment by moment battle. I can't be as active as I was even before surgery. Literally most days all but my forearms and hands hurt. Before surgery, I was very social. Now I want to do nothing. Literally nothing. Not even hang out with my closest friends. The thought of going into Wal-Mart for milk gives me severe anxiety. I can't be the friend or family member I want to be. I can't do the things I want to do. I should be studying for my alternative certification but I'm literally exhausted every second of the day and even getting out my study material gives me a full blown anxiety attack. I want to be a good mentor and light for Jesus, but I am so so tired. My heart feels crushed at the id...

An update on our week in Houston for all who want to know: Y'all, this week has been bittersweet. If I am honest, I am still processing it all and I am struggling a little bit. Lets be real, I am struggling a lot. Anyways, let me just tell you the whole journey. About a month ago, I was laying on the floor, literally sobbing and asking my Abba "why?" Every doctor we had talked to had either turned me away or told me there was nothing more they could do for me. We had gotten no answers since I got diagnosed in 2015. Cameron shared with our friend, Steve Murphy, the dead end we had hit and how hopeless we felt after a service about feeling helpless. Steve, being our family in Christ immediately wanted to help and connected us with another man in our church, Leeland. Leeland selflessly spent hours of his time to research and found us a doctor at M.D. Anderson in Houston. Although there was a waiting list to get into Dr. Slopis, we got an appointment the day we were ...

A year already? That is insane. Let me tell you a little bit about our first year. It has been pretty much a fairy tale in all honestly. We agree upon most things, laugh a lot and pick on each other a lot. Living with your best friend is absolutely the best thing ever! The Lord has had a lot of grace on us and has truly made our first year of marriage sweet and easy. Our hardships this year had nothing to do with us as a couple. The two hardest storms we have had to weather have been the disease in my body and our awful neighbors. Cameron has been so wonderful through this disease and has supported me, cried with me and rubbed my leg until I fall asleep. He is seriously the most servant hearted man I have ever met. We continue to pray for healing for me and health for our future children. Even more than that, we are praying that whatever comes, we glorify the name of our Father. We know that this disease is not FROM our Father but can be used FOR His glory. After almost a year of...

I Cannot Wait For That Day As the weather quickly changes from warm to cold And the leaves slowly change from green to gold The memories come back like a flood But i know this pain is not for good I know i will once again see your face,hear your voice And though my heart was shattered i would not take the other choice For you are happy and at home And have received your new name on that pretty white stone! I must admit im jealous of you Because i want to be there too But until that day  will do my best to make you proud And share my reason for the hope i have to all who are around It heals my heart to know I am here with yours And you are with mine And we will all be together when He says "Its time" Let me just say, I cannot wait until that day.

I have been struggling recently with feeling mistreated. Whether my feelings are valid or not, they are valid to God because I feel them. I have been reading "The Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster and it has been making me once again aware that sometimes I do not need to make my feelings known. I do not always need to make sure the person who is hurting me knows they are hurting me. There are times when it is just simply not needed nor will it make a difference. It is these times I need to let God be my justifier and defender. There are times I need to let Him fight the battle for me while I keep my mouth shut, sit silently and listen to Him. I know what God thinks of me so why does it matter what others think? Also if I am truly being mistreated, I am a daughter of a just God and he will handle it. So from now on when I feel mistreated, unless the Holy Spirit asks me to speak up, I will sit silently before my Father and allow Him to handle it and allow Him to sp...

I was diagnosed with a disease in November called Neurofibromatosis. I have tumors interwoven in my nerves in my right leg and a tiny one in my nerve in my left leg. They hurt and can cause my future children to be born with my disease as well. There are more details but that is the nutshell version. I had been crippled by fear from November until April 25 when I had victory over my constant fear of my disease for three months. Until about A week ago I was free from fear in this area of my life. As a P.E.T scan (which I have to get every six months) approached I fell back into fear. Literally, I fell on my kitchen floor and bawled my eyes out before Jesus. My hearts cry is that these tumors be taken away. In the beginning of all this mess I was mad at God. I've never been mad at God for anything. In the beginning of all this mess my prayer was only God heal me completely here and now. But as time went on and I began to seek Jesus more, my heart towards my situation and my prayers...

This letter is to my friends who claim Jesus as their Savior, who claim to live for him, who claim him on social media posts. This is for my friends who claim Jesus and who claim me as their friend. If you claim Jesus, and you claim me as your friend I see that as you giving me permission to call you out when you are blatantly walking in sin and not walking in what the Lord has for you. I have hesitated writing this for fear of being seen as judgmental and for fear of losing friendships, but honestly I feel like I have a righteous anger when it comes to this and I am not forcing you to read this post. I literally get mad when I see the bondage the enemy has some of y'all in. I get mad when I see some of y'all blinded, numbed and shackled down by your sin.  I want to start off by saying you're not a horrible person if you sin, we all have sin that holds us in bondage at times. We all have sin the enemy tempts us with. We all have sins that we are weak around. I am saying...