I was diagnosed with a disease in November called Neurofibromatosis. I have tumors interwoven in my nerves in my right leg and a tiny one in my nerve in my left leg. They hurt and can cause my future children to be born with my disease as well. There are more details but that is the nutshell version. I had been crippled by fear from November until April 25 when I had victory over my constant fear of my disease for three months. Until about A week ago I was free from fear in this area of my life. As a P.E.T scan (which I have to get every six months) approached I fell back into fear. Literally, I fell on my kitchen floor and bawled my eyes out before Jesus. My hearts cry is that these tumors be taken away.
In the beginning of all this mess I was mad at God. I've never been mad at God for anything. In the beginning of all this mess my prayer was only God heal me completely here and now. But as time went on and I began to seek Jesus more, my heart towards my situation and my prayers changed. I was on my way to work one day and the Christian radio station I listen to does a segment called "tell me something good." It's usually along the lines of, "I was almost divorced and God redeemed my marriage," or "I was sick and God healed me." Today was different. They asked the lady who called in to tell them something good and she simply said, "I have cancer." They asked her, "So God healed you?" With which she replied, "nope." Everyone including me was confused. So they asked her to explain how this was good. She replied, "I have never had a bigger ministry for Jesus than I have in this season of my life."
WOW!!! I was blown away. From that moment forward my prayer changed from,"Daddy heal me," to Daddy, my hearts cry is to be completely healed here on earth, and if you heal me I will use it for your glory, but even more than that, your will be done and if you choose not to heal me and keep this thorn in my flesh than it's for your glory and ultimate good." This prayer helped me in my Victory over fear. God promised me good, not a lack of trial, but ULTIMATE GOOD.
This week has been rough. Fighting fear and lies of the enemy. Fighting my mis-trust of Jesus. Today in church God was faithful as He always is and spoke these words through my pastor. P.S. the verses he taught on were my memory verses last week! GOD IS SO COOL. Anyways, back to the words God spoke through Pastor Josh Lawrence:
The Gift of a Setback
Gift and Setback used in the same sentence? A gift refers to something positive...Setback refers to a difficult circumstance. We will get to how they go together in a minute. ;)
The most natural response to a setback is anger, whether that be anger towards God, towards others or towards ourselves. For me my "setback" made me mad at God and myself because I thought that my sins are what brought this disease upon me and I was mad at God for allowing me to be sick after I feel like I have been through enough hardship in life.
The most un-natural response to a set back is seeing it as a gift.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Says:
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Vs. 7 says "in order" meaning there is a purpose for what Paul had gone through and was going to continue to go through. Paul continues in this verse to talk about a thorn was given to him in his flesh, The key word here is GIVEN. God, in His deep love for Paul GIVES him a thorn in his flesh. God deemed this thorn to be exactly what Paul needed. This thorn, IN THE LONG RUN WAS POSITIVE. Because of this setback/thorn, Paul was able to, and continues to touch a wide range of people for Gods Kingdom.
How did Paul respond to the thorn in his flesh?
Vs. 8 He PLEADED with God to take it away, to remove it. to with which God responded. Vs. 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
This meant for Paul that the thorn/setback stays. That his thorn/setback is his new normal for awhile, or inevitably. But God also promised Paul that His grace is sufficient and will help him endure and press on through his thorn/setback.
Paul, in his setback was in the very center of God's will.
Paul responds to God's response with " I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ's power can work through me."
People were, are and will be impacted by Paul's thorn.
Vs.10 "for when I am weak then I am strong"
Paul would not have been as influential with out his thorn, his thorn made him trust in God's grace and love all the more.
Gods power is made perfect when amazing things happen through the setback/thorns in our lives. I believe many people will be changed through the literal thorn (tumor) in my flesh. I will choose daily to open up about my thorn and use my thorn for God's glory, that His power may work through me. Embrace the thorn rather than resent it. Embracing your setback is crucial to embracing the comeback. We have to admit that we need a power far greater than ourselves to get through out setbacks and thorns. There's a message from the enemy about our thorns and there is a message from God about our thorns, which are you going to choose to listen to? We have NO IDEA what God may do if we say "Yes, I am choosing you Jesus, even in the pain of this thorn I am choosing you and to be used by you. I am choosing in this setback to listen to, walk with, and to trust in you."
I will continue to ask my Abba for healing, for my thorn in my flesh to be removed, but if His answer is no it is okay because His grace is sufficient for me.
In the beginning of all this mess I was mad at God. I've never been mad at God for anything. In the beginning of all this mess my prayer was only God heal me completely here and now. But as time went on and I began to seek Jesus more, my heart towards my situation and my prayers changed. I was on my way to work one day and the Christian radio station I listen to does a segment called "tell me something good." It's usually along the lines of, "I was almost divorced and God redeemed my marriage," or "I was sick and God healed me." Today was different. They asked the lady who called in to tell them something good and she simply said, "I have cancer." They asked her, "So God healed you?" With which she replied, "nope." Everyone including me was confused. So they asked her to explain how this was good. She replied, "I have never had a bigger ministry for Jesus than I have in this season of my life."
WOW!!! I was blown away. From that moment forward my prayer changed from,"Daddy heal me," to Daddy, my hearts cry is to be completely healed here on earth, and if you heal me I will use it for your glory, but even more than that, your will be done and if you choose not to heal me and keep this thorn in my flesh than it's for your glory and ultimate good." This prayer helped me in my Victory over fear. God promised me good, not a lack of trial, but ULTIMATE GOOD.
This week has been rough. Fighting fear and lies of the enemy. Fighting my mis-trust of Jesus. Today in church God was faithful as He always is and spoke these words through my pastor. P.S. the verses he taught on were my memory verses last week! GOD IS SO COOL. Anyways, back to the words God spoke through Pastor Josh Lawrence:
The Gift of a Setback
Gift and Setback used in the same sentence? A gift refers to something positive...Setback refers to a difficult circumstance. We will get to how they go together in a minute. ;)
The most natural response to a setback is anger, whether that be anger towards God, towards others or towards ourselves. For me my "setback" made me mad at God and myself because I thought that my sins are what brought this disease upon me and I was mad at God for allowing me to be sick after I feel like I have been through enough hardship in life.
The most un-natural response to a set back is seeing it as a gift.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 Says:
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Vs. 7 says "in order" meaning there is a purpose for what Paul had gone through and was going to continue to go through. Paul continues in this verse to talk about a thorn was given to him in his flesh, The key word here is GIVEN. God, in His deep love for Paul GIVES him a thorn in his flesh. God deemed this thorn to be exactly what Paul needed. This thorn, IN THE LONG RUN WAS POSITIVE. Because of this setback/thorn, Paul was able to, and continues to touch a wide range of people for Gods Kingdom.
How did Paul respond to the thorn in his flesh?
Vs. 8 He PLEADED with God to take it away, to remove it. to with which God responded. Vs. 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
This meant for Paul that the thorn/setback stays. That his thorn/setback is his new normal for awhile, or inevitably. But God also promised Paul that His grace is sufficient and will help him endure and press on through his thorn/setback.
Paul, in his setback was in the very center of God's will.
Paul responds to God's response with " I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ's power can work through me."
People were, are and will be impacted by Paul's thorn.
Vs.10 "for when I am weak then I am strong"
Paul would not have been as influential with out his thorn, his thorn made him trust in God's grace and love all the more.
Gods power is made perfect when amazing things happen through the setback/thorns in our lives. I believe many people will be changed through the literal thorn (tumor) in my flesh. I will choose daily to open up about my thorn and use my thorn for God's glory, that His power may work through me. Embrace the thorn rather than resent it. Embracing your setback is crucial to embracing the comeback. We have to admit that we need a power far greater than ourselves to get through out setbacks and thorns. There's a message from the enemy about our thorns and there is a message from God about our thorns, which are you going to choose to listen to? We have NO IDEA what God may do if we say "Yes, I am choosing you Jesus, even in the pain of this thorn I am choosing you and to be used by you. I am choosing in this setback to listen to, walk with, and to trust in you."
I will continue to ask my Abba for healing, for my thorn in my flesh to be removed, but if His answer is no it is okay because His grace is sufficient for me.
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