Skip to main content

Seperation- a Big Brick Wall


A journal entry from 2.3.10

Daddy, last night when I couldn't sleep, I thought of my life right now and it is kind of like I am facing a big brick wall. The wall is all the stuff that is holding me back from you Father. I know you are on the other side calling for me, waiting to embrace me. It is my decision to sit there and think "I can't break down this wall" or to pound at it, never giving up, no matter how hard or how long it takes, no matter how unmotivated I feel, just pound at it until it falls and I feel Your warmth again. I really cannot wait until the day I can be with You. Soon and very soon. I know right now it feels like eternity, but once I am there it will be ETERNITY. It will be wonderful. I'll be with the one I love, with unveiled face I'll see You.

Now this goes to show that every Christian goes through dry seasons, or season when they feel they are completely separated from  God because of things in their lives. And yes the  separation part USED to be true, but THANK THE LORD that is not the fact anymore because Christ's blood was shed so that separation would be taken away. This entry shows my testimony that even in times when you feel this way, if you don't give up God will be there ALWAYS and you WILL feel Him again. Today I am happy and full of joy, regardless of this feeling I had for quite some time. I hope this can be an encouragement to someone.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

NOW THOSE ALTARS IN THE WILDERNESS TELL THE STORY OF HIS FAITHFULNESS

There have been seasons in my life that lasted way longer than I would have liked them too. After a long while I began to realize wishing those seasons away and turning to so many things but Jesus to make those seasons end was not working, but instead was making me bitter. My prayer in those seasons went from, "take this cup from me" to, "as long as it takes to get to a place of surrender I'm gonna stay right here." My hard times brought me to a place of fully surrendering fear and fully trusting Jesus, something I struggled severely with. Our sweet son was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis last week. I think if this had happened before those other hard seasons I would be totally crippled by fear right now. But I can honestly say that I'm not fearful of what this diagnosis might bring, sad yes, but not afraid.  I used to always expect the worst. Expect whatever came next to be something that once again would bring bad news. This time, although it...

Ministry Isn't Easy

Exodus 4:10 But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Sometimes we don't feel good enough to do what God has called us to do. And sometimes we use that as an excuse to get out of it because we give into fear. At least that's how it's been for me.  Initially when the Lord called me to start London Square Children’s Ministry my argument was, I'm not good at leading and organizing.  I can jump in and help someone else who is leading and organizing but I can't start up a Ministry and lead it. I'm not good at that. And although that is true, it's not my strong suit, He equipped me to do it. And much fruit came from it.  Then covid hit and I got pregnant.  A long season away from the Ministry for the safety of myself and my baby. But I think that safety from a virus turned into safety of my time and energy.  Honestly se...

Jealousy is the Ugliest Trait.

So.... HUGE STRUGGLE. Jealousy. It's not a pretty thing. It consumes your thoughts, heart, emotions, self-esteem and worst of all puts hatred in your hear for others...especially the ones you are closest to. Now my first encounter with this disgusting sin that I can remember and took its toll on all the above was in high-school within my youth group. It involved a girl who I considered a dear friend. She IS pretty, talented, loving and many people look up to her and want to be around her. Instead of seeing all the Lord gifted me with, I was too busy looking and wanting to be her. Needless to say the relationship was broken by ugliness and hate and years of friendship were lost. The struggle did not end with the friendship. The jealousy continued and so did the hatred in my heart. For years, there was no forgiveness, just bitterness. Here years after, I am much more confident in who I am. But that silly little sin still has a grip on me. I look around at my dearest friends a...