Simply Redeemed

I found an old journal entry from my senior year of high school about what prayer meant to me. I read it and then decided to write again about what it is for me 3 years later and once again today. Here are the entries: 8/26/08 Prayer has been different throughout my life. But right now it is almost a constant continual all day thing. It is a way to survive from day to day. To  keep my heart and mind set on the right things, to keep the enemy from lying to me and bringing me down. Without praying constantly I would be miserable and without hope and satan would completely tear me apart with his lies of telling me I'm not good enough, that I cant make it without my best friend no longer here. That I'm not strong enough to make it through all the storms of this life. And to be honest I am not strong enough so I find my strength in God through prayer. He will carry me through. 8/27/11 Prayer is my hideaway. It is my time alone with my heavenly Father. It is where I go wh...

I was challenged in 2010 to write my own Psalm. Here it is: Lord I know You will do what is best for me, yet I refuse to give you full control. My heart yearns to yearn for you, but my selfish desires pull me away from desiring you. I know your love for me is deeper than I can even comprehend, yet I look to other things for satisfaction. I know in my heart your plan for me is good and set before I was even born, yet I worry about my future. You have equipped me with all I need to fight the good fight, but still I tremble in fear and do not take a step forward. Lord you know my heart and you know I'm tired, tired of worrying, tired of it all. All I desire is to lean against you and hear your heartbeat. That is all I want, the still silence and your heartbeat, with nothing else to to distract me, nothing else to worry me, just me and my savior in a quiet place where you can restore my joy and peace. A place where I can be refreshed so I can be sent back into this chaotic wo...

I believe that this season is going to be a great season of healing, a season of breaking free of chains. I think this because I am seeing it. First, I see it in my own life. The Lord is teaching me so much about the fear of the Lord, his love and grace for me and how His way is best and my own decisions lead to self destruction. The past few months and especially the past week I have seen him really helping me break free of some deep rooted long time sin struggles. I see loved ones of mine truly desiring healing of struggles and beginning to fight them, and other loved ones who have hit rock bottom and my prayer is for them that the Lord truly works on their hearts in this time.  And then there are those loved ones who I have been praying years for, who have hit rock bottom many times and yet I have seen nothing change and I have to continue to watch them walk down the road of self destruction. It breaks my heart. When it comes to those loved ones. Let me tell you, don't get bit...

1Thes 2:8 We loved you so much we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our own lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. I believe the Lord has done remarkable things in my life in order that I may share it with others for His glory...so here we go. The Lord's providence has been all over my whole life. And I mean my WHOLE life...but I'll start at age 8. When I was 8, my aunt and uncle so lovingly blessed me by sending me to Kanakuk a Christian athletic camp. That was the summer I first heard the Gospel. This was the same summer my two year old brother passed away. Divine providence one, I heard the Gospel, the promise that this life is not the end just a week or so before my precious brother went to be with the Lord. Thank the  Lord I had those promises to hold tight to in that dark time. The summer between 6th and 7th grade, my aunt and uncle again, obedient to the Lord's calling to love and pursue me offered to send me to a pri...

Something that is obvious to those who know me well...and let's be real, to those who don't...I am an emotional roller-coaster. I am EXTREMELY sensitive,moody and get irritated far too easily, as in I cry AT LEAST once a week, whether it be cause I am too happy, sad or stressed. If I'm not between like a 4 and 8 on the emotional scale, I'll probably cry at some point that day. The Lord has been revealing to me more and more this semester how I SO EASILY let my emotions and heart issues get the best of me, leading me to be dramatic and irrational. But once again I have to say "THANK YOU DADDY FOR YOUR GRACE!!!" In my quiet time I read through some of the Pslams and read about how John Calvin (who a lot of my friends speak of a lot yet I know little about) calls the Pslams the anatomy of the soul. They show the highs and lows - the entire human experience of joy, pain, victory and suffering and throughout it all, how God is sovereign over and loving to both...

GRACE <3 God's grace amazes me. I know this is a statement used all the time but FOR REAL ! Everyday He extends His grace to us.  Everyday although we chose to use our bodies for instruments of sin, our bodies are the very place where He allows and WANTS His spirit to reside. You know what else makes me stand in awe? The fact that because His spirit is living and active in those who have trusted in Him, we can extend grace to others and receive grace from others. I have experienced this semester more than ever the coming together in community with other believers and extending and receiving grace. You would think coming to someone and sharing the most shameful things about tour life would be awful and discouraging and leave you feeling embarrassed. But because of grace, it has the opposite effect. It feels like their is a weight lifted off your heart and you can feel Jesus literally sitting there with you and the brothers and sisters in Christ you have come to. It ...

So.... HUGE STRUGGLE. Jealousy. It's not a pretty thing. It consumes your thoughts, heart, emotions, self-esteem and worst of all puts hatred in your hear for others...especially the ones you are closest to. Now my first encounter with this disgusting sin that I can remember and took its toll on all the above was in high-school within my youth group. It involved a girl who I considered a dear friend. She IS pretty, talented, loving and many people look up to her and want to be around her. Instead of seeing all the Lord gifted me with, I was too busy looking and wanting to be her. Needless to say the relationship was broken by ugliness and hate and years of friendship were lost. The struggle did not end with the friendship. The jealousy continued and so did the hatred in my heart. For years, there was no forgiveness, just bitterness. Here years after, I am much more confident in who I am. But that silly little sin still has a grip on me. I look around at my dearest friends a...