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Jealousy is the Ugliest Trait.

So....
HUGE STRUGGLE.

Jealousy.
It's not a pretty thing. It consumes your thoughts, heart, emotions, self-esteem and worst of all puts hatred in your hear for others...especially the ones you are closest to.

Now my first encounter with this disgusting sin that I can remember and took its toll on all the above was in high-school within my youth group. It involved a girl who I considered a dear friend. She IS pretty, talented, loving and many people look up to her and want to be around her. Instead of seeing all the Lord gifted me with, I was too busy looking and wanting to be her. Needless to say the relationship was broken by ugliness and hate and years of friendship were lost. The struggle did not end with the friendship. The jealousy continued and so did the hatred in my heart. For years, there was no forgiveness, just bitterness.

Here years after, I am much more confident in who I am. But that silly little sin still has a grip on me. I look around at my dearest friends and wish I had the time, talents, boldness, maturity etc that they have...and once again my heart begins to get hateful and nasty in my thoughts, actions and words towards them. All because of envy.

This is so silly because in my heart of hearts I know all the business I'm involved in, all the abilities the Lord has given me and my tender heart are all for the Lord's glory. My classes, my work, my time with my girls I pour into and my time with others who pour into me, although fill up all my time are seriously MY BIGGEST JOY AND BLESSINGS! (well school is a blessing...I wouldn't call it a joy lol) The Lord has put all this stuff in my life for a reason and has given me the gifts to succeed. So I know I need to be more thankful!

 AND JUST FOR EVERYONE WHO DOSN'T ALREADY KNOW....
GOD IS GOOD...
AND GRACIOUS...
AND BREAKS CHAINS...
AND MENDS RELATIONSHIPS.

How do I know this you ask?
Well the relationship from the first paragraph after four years was mended....and mended beautifully I may add...and as we both said out loud that it was so silly that all that happened and that we can see now the friendship could have been awesome...I'm thankful for that experience to see the Lords gracious mending hand over our friendship. DANG HE'S AWESOME.


Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.
Job 5:1-3 
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:29-31 
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:25-26
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
James 3:15-17 
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.
1 Peter 2:1-3



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