Skip to main content

Jealousy is the Ugliest Trait.

So....
HUGE STRUGGLE.

Jealousy.
It's not a pretty thing. It consumes your thoughts, heart, emotions, self-esteem and worst of all puts hatred in your hear for others...especially the ones you are closest to.

Now my first encounter with this disgusting sin that I can remember and took its toll on all the above was in high-school within my youth group. It involved a girl who I considered a dear friend. She IS pretty, talented, loving and many people look up to her and want to be around her. Instead of seeing all the Lord gifted me with, I was too busy looking and wanting to be her. Needless to say the relationship was broken by ugliness and hate and years of friendship were lost. The struggle did not end with the friendship. The jealousy continued and so did the hatred in my heart. For years, there was no forgiveness, just bitterness.

Here years after, I am much more confident in who I am. But that silly little sin still has a grip on me. I look around at my dearest friends and wish I had the time, talents, boldness, maturity etc that they have...and once again my heart begins to get hateful and nasty in my thoughts, actions and words towards them. All because of envy.

This is so silly because in my heart of hearts I know all the business I'm involved in, all the abilities the Lord has given me and my tender heart are all for the Lord's glory. My classes, my work, my time with my girls I pour into and my time with others who pour into me, although fill up all my time are seriously MY BIGGEST JOY AND BLESSINGS! (well school is a blessing...I wouldn't call it a joy lol) The Lord has put all this stuff in my life for a reason and has given me the gifts to succeed. So I know I need to be more thankful!

 AND JUST FOR EVERYONE WHO DOSN'T ALREADY KNOW....
GOD IS GOOD...
AND GRACIOUS...
AND BREAKS CHAINS...
AND MENDS RELATIONSHIPS.

How do I know this you ask?
Well the relationship from the first paragraph after four years was mended....and mended beautifully I may add...and as we both said out loud that it was so silly that all that happened and that we can see now the friendship could have been awesome...I'm thankful for that experience to see the Lords gracious mending hand over our friendship. DANG HE'S AWESOME.


Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.
Job 5:1-3 
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:29-31 
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:25-26
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
James 3:15-17 
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.
1 Peter 2:1-3



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Winning The War Over Our Sin

Sin. It gets us out of the Lords will and destroys us. The enemy uses it to break us down. He knows what we struggle with most and when we are at our lowest and he knows exactly when to attack. We receive the seeds of sin before we even realized we've received it. The enemy has designed sin to get us out of the will of God so we will never ever see the power and plan the Lord has for our lives. This sucks. What do we do? Sit around full of self pity, letting it happen? Just say "ahhh darn i'm too weak to overcome this" Think that we are too far gone to ever turn back to our Father? NO WE FIGHT. We continue to address our sin until we are free. We demand discipline in every aspect of our lives, that includes demanding discipline of those you spend your time with. We stand up against generational curses and say "No more! It stops with me!" We must WANT to be free to be free. When there is a sin that is strong and consistent in your life a
4 comments
Read more

I Know You're With Me To The Very End

An update on our week in Houston for all who want to know: Y'all, this week has been bittersweet. If I am honest, I am still processing it all and I am struggling a little bit. Lets be real, I am struggling a lot. Anyways, let me just tell you the whole journey. About a month ago, I was laying on the floor, literally sobbing and asking my Abba "why?" Every doctor we had talked to had either turned me away or told me there was nothing more they could do for me. We had gotten no answers since I got diagnosed in 2015. Cameron shared with our friend, Steve Murphy, the dead end we had hit and how hopeless we felt after a service about feeling helpless. Steve, being our family in Christ immediately wanted to help and connected us with another man in our church, Leeland. Leeland selflessly spent hours of his time to research and found us a doctor at M.D. Anderson in Houston. Although there was a waiting list to get into Dr. Slopis, we got an appointment the day we were
3 comments
Read more

NOW THOSE ALTARS IN THE WILDERNESS TELL THE STORY OF HIS FAITHFULNESS

There have been seasons in my life that lasted way longer than I would have liked them too. After a long while I began to realize wishing those seasons away and turning to so many things but Jesus to make those seasons end was not working, but instead was making me bitter. My prayer in those seasons went from, "take this cup from me" to, "as long as it takes to get to a place of surrender I'm gonna stay right here." My hard times brought me to a place of fully surrendering fear and fully trusting Jesus, something I struggled severely with. Our sweet son was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis last week. I think if this had happened before those other hard seasons I would be totally crippled by fear right now. But I can honestly say that I'm not fearful of what this diagnosis might bring, sad yes, but not afraid.  I used to always expect the worst. Expect whatever came next to be something that once again would bring bad news. This time, although it
Post a Comment
Read more