My heart has been breaking recently. No matter how
optimistic I try to remain there is no escaping the fact that the enemy will be
daily attacking us. Because of this fact I know we must constantly be on guard of
his schemes and be prepared to defend and ready for war. I have been becoming
more and more aware of how real spiritual warfare is. My heart breaks and I cry
out to the Lord to fight for my friends and family who have fallen into the
hands of then enemy, for the precious souls of the children at my church’s
youth night who have all odds against them. So many times I wish and even try
to fight the battle for them and then realize I’m struggling enough to fight my
own battles the enemy has snuck into my life. Maybe we allow defeat to overtake
us too soon. Many times I feel knocked down, off track and confused by the
things life throws my way, but I wouldn't call it defeated. I think defeat is
when you choose to stay in that position of confusion and hurt. If you fall and
stand tall and come back for more you’re still victorious.
I know that I do not have enough weapons to fight without
the Lord. I have no strength to continue unless he sustains me. My wisdom is little
to none unless He pours it upon me. My discernment is blurred unless His spirit
overwhelms my every decision. My thoughts are sinful unless the Father consumes
them. I many times fail in the little things He desires me to be faithful in. I
know I alone cannot conquer my own sin and struggles but He alone can conquer
nations. I run back to the chains and slavery of my sin and He leads me back to
freedom. So no matter how long or hard the battle, I won’t stop fighting,
because in the Lord Victory is certain.
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