Skip to main content

War

My heart has been breaking recently. No matter how optimistic I try to remain there is no escaping the fact that the enemy will be daily attacking us. Because of this fact I know we must constantly be on guard of his schemes and be prepared to defend and ready for war. I have been becoming more and more aware of how real spiritual warfare is. My heart breaks and I cry out to the Lord to fight for my friends and family who have fallen into the hands of then enemy, for the precious souls of the children at my church’s youth night who have all odds against them. So many times I wish and even try to fight the battle for them and then realize I’m struggling enough to fight my own battles the enemy has snuck into my life. Maybe we allow defeat to overtake us too soon. Many times I feel knocked down, off track and confused by the things life throws my way, but I wouldn't call it defeated. I think defeat is when you choose to stay in that position of confusion and hurt. If you fall and stand tall and come back for more you’re still victorious.


I know that I do not have enough weapons to fight without the Lord. I have no strength to continue unless he sustains me. My wisdom is little to none unless He pours it upon me. My discernment is blurred unless His spirit overwhelms my every decision. My thoughts are sinful unless the Father consumes them. I many times fail in the little things He desires me to be faithful in. I know I alone cannot conquer my own sin and struggles but He alone can conquer nations. I run back to the chains and slavery of my sin and He leads me back to freedom. So no matter how long or hard the battle, I won’t stop fighting, because in the Lord Victory is certain.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

NOW THOSE ALTARS IN THE WILDERNESS TELL THE STORY OF HIS FAITHFULNESS

There have been seasons in my life that lasted way longer than I would have liked them too. After a long while I began to realize wishing those seasons away and turning to so many things but Jesus to make those seasons end was not working, but instead was making me bitter. My prayer in those seasons went from, "take this cup from me" to, "as long as it takes to get to a place of surrender I'm gonna stay right here." My hard times brought me to a place of fully surrendering fear and fully trusting Jesus, something I struggled severely with. Our sweet son was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis last week. I think if this had happened before those other hard seasons I would be totally crippled by fear right now. But I can honestly say that I'm not fearful of what this diagnosis might bring, sad yes, but not afraid.  I used to always expect the worst. Expect whatever came next to be something that once again would bring bad news. This time, although it...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ministry Isn't Easy

Exodus 4:10 But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Sometimes we don't feel good enough to do what God has called us to do. And sometimes we use that as an excuse to get out of it because we give into fear. At least that's how it's been for me.  Initially when the Lord called me to start London Square Children’s Ministry my argument was, I'm not good at leading and organizing.  I can jump in and help someone else who is leading and organizing but I can't start up a Ministry and lead it. I'm not good at that. And although that is true, it's not my strong suit, He equipped me to do it. And much fruit came from it.  Then covid hit and I got pregnant.  A long season away from the Ministry for the safety of myself and my baby. But I think that safety from a virus turned into safety of my time and energy.  Honestly se...
Post a Comment
Read more

Vulnerability

It's been a little over 5 months since my surgery. I thought the surgery itself was going to be me getting out of the woods. But now, I feel I am still deep in the dark woods. My surgery changed my body. Chronic pain and disease have crushed my spirit and have made my thoughts a moment by moment battle. I can't be as active as I was even before surgery. Literally most days all but my forearms and hands hurt. Before surgery, I was very social. Now I want to do nothing. Literally nothing. Not even hang out with my closest friends. The thought of going into Wal-Mart for milk gives me severe anxiety. I can't be the friend or family member I want to be. I can't do the things I want to do. I should be studying for my alternative certification but I'm literally exhausted every second of the day and even getting out my study material gives me a full blown anxiety attack. I want to be a good mentor and light for Jesus, but I am so so tired. My heart feels crushed at the id...
1 comment
Read more