Simply Redeemed

A journal entry from 2.3.10 Daddy, last night when I couldn't sleep, I thought of my life right now and it is kind of like I am facing a big brick wall. The wall is all the stuff that is holding me back from you Father. I know you are on the other side calling for me, waiting to embrace me. It is my decision to sit there and think "I can't break down this wall" or to pound at it, never giving up, no matter how hard or how long it takes, no matter how unmotivated I feel, just pound at it until it falls and I feel Your warmth again. I really cannot wait until the day I can be with You. Soon and very soon. I know right now it feels like eternity, but once I am there it will be ETERNITY. It will be wonderful. I'll be with the one I love, with unveiled face I'll see You. Now this goes to show that every Christian goes through dry seasons, or season when they feel they are completely separated from  God because of things in their lives. And yes the  separation ...

You know, I can go awhile with being alone, but a whole day alone i cannot do. When I am alone to long, thoughts consume me, and not the kind of thoughts anyone would want their head to be filled with. Memories of my hardest days come when I am alone. The day when I lost my brother, the day I lost my best friend, the day my heart was shattered by the boy I thought I would be with forever, the boy who knew me better than anyone, thoughts of the day I was asked to leave somewhere I loved and had made huge sacrifices for, thoughts of my past mistakes, lies from the enemy telling me that these things happened because I am not worth it, that I have nothing to offer, that I will never ever overcome my hurts habits and hangups. These are the things that fill my head when I am alone for too long. The enemy knows that I am most vulnerable when I am alone, and that is when he attacks. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT The enemy is under Christ's feet and I am made free as a child of the Lord. ...